Help ?

Last two nights, as I was about to actually start studying, I suddenly got a call from Kubis. 

"CHECK YOUR WHATSAPP !!!" she said right after I answered it, couldn't even get to Assalamualaikum,-yes-why-are-you-calling-do-you-miss-me and all but okay, that will do to. 

I turned my WhatsApp on, and sent to me (by her) were photos of blouses and dresses on sale. . . Girl meant serious business when she called.  

Trying to avoid the urge to browse those online shops, I typed, "But I just bought 2 pairs of heels last night. Can't afford to shop for two days in a row," torn between hitting send and opening the site of the shop. I eventually hit send but ended up at the site anyway. Just because, ye know. I needed a break. I cannot be stressed when I'm about to study and ... okay, stop judging me.

The thing is, I JUST CAN'T CONTROL IT. How do people even do that ?!

I mean, how do their brain talk to their heart ? Just, how ? What sorcery is that ? 

If some people are more specific on what they spent on, like, "Oh, I only spend more on food" or "I am willing to starve for Lego" which for them, can be sinful too at times. 

Sir, behold , 

for thou is not as sinful.

This woman here enjoys everything. 

I like books , 

I like stationeries,

I like shoes, 

I like clothes, 

I like scarves, 

I like handbags, 

I like movies, 

I like food and the list goes on... 

and frankly, this is not something I am proud of. 

I have been telling my friends to keep me away from simply buying things but as you can see, instead of keeping me away, they notify me on EVERY sales possible. It is not peculiar at all to see me running to them after hearing the words, "Anis, **** is on sale!" 

And yes, I am fully aware that sometimes, the shops just put on the tags '50% off' although they're actually selling at normal price. Yes, I have those tricks in my pockets and I should crawl away from it. But, no . I just kept on running back to what I wish to avoid the most. 

There's this one recent event, we just got back from a midnight movie and walked past Jelly Bunny with huge "50% off" sign.

Uncanny

The shop was closed, so we went back there the next day (the effort). Turned out, it was just a clearance sale on certain shoes only and, obviously most of them are not in my size.

However, since we're already there and I already have my card in my purse, why not?

I ended up buying 6 pairs of shoes, was feeling generous enough and bought 2 for my sister. As far as I can recall, the shoes which I bought, only a few pairs were on a-few-percents-off (not ALL were 50% apparently. LIAR !) and the rest were with normal prices.
Not to mention that a few days before that, I just spent another hundreds on ... if I'm not mistaken, inner wears and Goodness knows how much those devils cost. 

Yes. I am an idiot. And this is a call for help. SOS. 

I got a lot of suggestions from concern friends.

"Only bring like RM10 in your purse every day."

 But ... what if , there's an emergency ? I can't be walking around unprepared, knowing I am not ready for what the world might smack me with. Nooo. Should I ? Noooo. Nope.

"Decide your priorities." 

THEY ARE ALL IMPORTANT.

Also, "Every day, set aside RM5 and keep it in a container." 

Yup. Did it. Spent those too. 

"Record the expenses" and starts recommending me a list of wallet Apps. 

Worked. For a few days. 

Another interesting one is, "Try not to shop." 

Duhhh. Thank you? I didn't know it's an option.

However therapeutic this is for me , deep down inside, I pray hard enough, hoping that this is only one of those 'this-is-just-a-phase,you-will-get-over-it' because dang, mama gonna be broke if mama dont stahp. 

I seriously need to find the way out, because only I can help myself :( 

At first, I didn't think this is bad at all because you know, I'm helping our economic growth. Your welcome, Malaysia *blows nails* 

However, when I realized that most of my chats with my friends consist of , "So today I bought this.." and "Maybe you should check this out" and "Isn't this cute?" followed by hundreds of photos. Okay that 'hundreds of photos' is a total exaggeration but guys, I am in deep mess. 

That is when it hits me, 'Boy, I am sick and I need help, don't I ?'  

Kubis found her way out, or well maybe not completely out but I can say she's halfway there. Whenever the urge hits her, she finds something REALLY cheap and only buy like, one or two. Hmmm maybe I can try that too. But ... but

I believe that everyone has mental illness looping inside them and mine happens to be this. Since it's happening inside, no medication would work unless I'm determined enough to make it stop. 

And therefore,

Starting from today onwards, I have decided that I will try my best to control my behaviour.
I promise that if I ever do anything stupid and go spend my money like a crazy woman,

I will have to pause from shopping for a month. 

Gosh I hope this works.